On the Birth of our Son

Our son James' first birthday is this weekend. The following is an account of the 30 hours from when my wife went into labor to the immediate aftermath of his birth.

Ashley went into labor in the five o' clock hour during the evening of Thursday, March 28th, 2019.

It was a seemingly dull evening. She was napping in the recliner and I was testing out a new Fortnite game mode, 'The Floor is Lava.' I got through a few matches when Ashley suddenly began to stir. I could tell that something was off by the way she was stirring. She had been having false labor contractions all week and we had even had a false alarm the previous Sunday. What she was doing now was completely different, however. She quickly woke up from the pain.

Within the hour, we were on our way to the hospital. Somehow I felt that this one was not a false alarm, so I put our immediate family on alert. We got to the hospital around seven and began the test to see if Ashley was actually in labor.

We killed time that evening by having Ashley walk around the room and try to work through the contraction pain. By ten we got our confirmation that she was progressing and was in labor. Not long afterwards, Ashley asked for an epidural.

Ashley and I got little sleep that night, me because I was on lookout and her because of the epidural. In the morning, it turned out her labor had stalled and efforts were made to speed up the process. Still, as the morning went on progress remained very slow.

I could not really eat lunch. I do not know if it was nerves or exhaustion but I had absolutely no appetite. After forcing myself to eat, Ashley started showing signs of pain again. The epidural had been in place for over 14 hours at that point and I suspected that it had run out of juice. The way she was contracting was different as well, in that it seemed more intense and very close together.

However, her progress had stalled again. Actually, I don't think it had stalled. I believe that she would have been fully dilated at that point, but our son had gotten himself stuck and was causing swelling that was restricting the dilation. I suspected that he was not going to be born through there.

Within minutes, the doctor confirmed my suspicion. He was turned in such a way that a vaginal birth was not safe. There would have to be a c-section instead. It was not an emergency c-section, however. There was time for me to get into protective gear and go with the doctors and my wife to the OR. They kept me waiting for a few minutes while they set up, then they let me in and let me sit down next to Ashley.

Ashley had been given what I can only describe as a super epidural to numb her for the surgery. She was conscious the whole time, though she was spared most of the pain that would go with the surgery.

Those doctors worked quick. I had been sitting next to Ashley for less than a minute when we heard the first screams of our son. It was 3:51 pm on Friday, March 29th, 2019. James Francis Sullivan had been born.

I sat next to Ashley for another couple of minutes after alerting my family that James had been born. They had a video monitor over Ashley's head so we could see what was going on. After I finally got my courage, I went over to see my son for the first time.

I believe the first thing I said was, "He's so tiny!"

The first picture of James, minutes after birth

I simply watched him for a couple of minutes while the doctors made sure his oxygen saturation was getting a decent level and doing other routine things for a newly born baby.

The exact moment it got real for me was when I talked to James for the first time. I was simply saying his name to him. For first five minutes since his birth, he had been bawling non-stop, but when I started talking to him, he actually stopped crying and looked around for my voice. This moment was when it really, truly hit me that I was a father.

After that, they got his weight and height. My exclamation that he was tiny was somewhat accurate. He was 19.5 inches and 6 pounds and 6 ounces. As it turned out, he would be right on the cusp of fitting into premature clothing, though I do not recall if we actually had any premature clothing for him.

Finally, James was brought over to Ashley so she could meet her son as well.

Our First Family Photo

After a little while longer, we were wheeled back down to the original labor room. Ashley was trying to feed James for the first time an hour after he was born. I was waiting for the all clear to allow family back into the room so everyone could meet James for the first time. After five o' clock, I was finally allowed to. I had already announced James' birth on Facebook at that point, so I knew they were ready to meet him.

I was in for a huge surprise, however.

My brother had joined the Navy nearly two years prior to James' birth and he was stationed at the time in San Diego. He was actually coming back to Kansas that weekend anyway, but he had to change his plans when it turned out his nephew was being born. He did not arrive at the hospital until after we had gone to the OR. So when I went to retrieve my family, Dominic was there as well and I will fully admit that I broke in that moment. If you've ever seen those videos of servicemen and women coming home and surprising their loved ones, that was basically what happened.

A Grandpa meeting his Grandson

Everyone was finally able to meet James. We were moved from the labor room to the hospital room we would be staying the next three days in. Ashley continued to work with James trying to get him to eat and we settled down for the night.

It had been a long 30 hours. Ashley ended up being in labor for over 22 hours and she, I, and James were all exhausted. But James had been born, was healthy, and outside of the circumstances leading to the c-section, there were no complications. I could not have asked for much more.

A Mother and her Son